>Calm before the breakdown


This is a short story of my life about the, what is see as, the last moment of my effortless childhood.

I remember, all those warm and sunny summer days sitting on a wooden bench all alone, not a single person in sight. The sore feeling in my legs after riding my bike for such a long time, listening to Linkin Park on my CD player not understanding half of what they where screaming about, and to hear that short silence when it switched track.

Sitting there, relaxing, watching the trees move back and forth in the wind across the field, not feeling any sadness or stress. Stretching my arms up in the air, so sweaty and thirsty after all the physical strains. I did not own any watch, any cellphone, any wallet, any keys, it was like time stood still, waiting for me, to go back to school, socializing and working.

Getting into something completely different, then it was like eight weeks ago, new people, new corridors, new teachers. Trying really hard to get up 6.30 in the morning, and not falling asleep while the teacher is talking about something that I really don’t care about, carrying that heavy backpack to and from school. Getting that so-you-decided-to-show-up look from the teachers ugly face when arriving three seconds late.

To get home after a really long day, not having any energy left, pouring up a nice cold drink of Coke and then falling asleep on the couch. With the grades going way below average and with my life force slowly flowing out of me, until theres nothing left of me. There’s nothing left, I’m nothing, Only fourteen, And nothing left. No more warm and sunny summer days, No more bike riding, No more stressless days, No more relaxing, No nothing.

I remember it so fondly, The only effortless part of my life, That is no more.

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